Saturday, December 10, 2005

Diversity Training

I received this email from a friend of mine the other day. I felt obligated to pass it along:

JW:

I DO hope you have enjoyed the enlightening and informative training video, "Diversity: Every Officer's Responsibility," that was filmed and produced by members of the San Francisco Police Department.

I especially like the part where the officer runs over a black female homeless person, who nonetheless is able to raise herself up post-flattening sufficiently to give the officer the finger.

In particular, I feel great empathy for the officer (now suspended) who stated, "This film is not offensive to minorities, women, homeless people or homosexuals. We didn't intend them to see the film..."

I am inspired to produce a similar film for our illustrious agency. I will call it, "Diversity: Fuck the White Man." There will be extensive footage of heterosexual white men, motivated by Clintonesque patriotism and politically-correct self-hatred, voluntarily resigning from their jobs to make room for under-represented Persons Of Color (POCS) and/or Persons Of Repugnant Preferences Of Intimate Sexual EcstacieS (PORPOISES). The film will also depict white men voluntarily cutting off their own organs of generation, to demonstrate their solidarity with the repressed People We Feel Sorry For and People We Feel Guilty About Having Previously Stomped On. Then the white men will allow themselves to be verbally, morally and physically abused, and finally, will voluntarily lay their unworthy necks across a rail of the Southern Pacific Railroad until a freight train comes along and chops off their heads, because they know that life should be fair and that they can't dance and have no right to exist.